came out and met a man he loved

came out and met a man he loved



It doesn’t at any point feel like a very remarkable incident for me that Father’s Day happens during Pride Month. In spite of the fact that I guess it is.

The main Father’s Day recognitions were around the turn of the most recent century. One of every 1908 regarded in excess of 300 men who had passed on in a coal mineshaft in West Virginia. After two years, a lady whose single man father raised her and her five kin attempted to fill Father’s Heart with joy a public festival, however it took until 1972 for that to really occur.

Pride Month was roused by the Stonewall uproars of 1969 and has just gotten acknowledgment from Democratic presidents, beginning with Bill Clinton (however in 2019, President Donald Trump tweeted about it).

As far as I might be concerned, however, the two festivals have been unavoidably connected for quite a long time. In late 1980, at a care group for gay dads, my father met Lionel – the man with whom he would go through the following 23 years.

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The Father’s Day blessing demand I denied

A couple of months after the fact, I assisted them with moving into a loft in West Hollywood. I was glad for my father. He had appeared to be somewhat lost in his new life – pushing 60, as of late separated from my mom, as of late out of the wardrobe as gay man. The insults he had persevered through included needing my support to dispose of an irate hawker, who was only a couple years more established than me, and shielding him against the furious Orthodox Jewish guardians of a youngster with whom he had a short, off-kilter sentiment.

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The year after he met Lionel, 1981, was the solitary time my dad at any point asked me for a Father’s Day present. He asked that I walk with him, close by the other gay dads and their children, in the Los Angeles Pride Parade.

I don’t recall much about the motorcade. What I do recall was that somebody had made T-shirts that said “I LOVE MY GAY DAD” and I would not wear one.

Lionel Friedman (in wheelchair), John Strauss and creator Larry Strauss (right) in Los Angeles.

I was 22 and in full ownership of that energetic hesitance blended in with self-serving pseudo-optimism. I told my father, “I love you, yet not on the grounds that you’re gay. I don’t cherish you regardless of it, by the same token. I’m happy you got things straight with yourself and the world, yet I’m not wearing a shirt that characterizes our relationship so shortsightedly.”

Reality, however, is that I did not have the mental fortitude to stand as far as possible up for my dad and his friends against a homophobic and detached world. My father didn’t push me. He was happy I was there with him by any stretch of the imagination.

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I presumably left my “I LOVE MY GAY DAD” T-shirt close to the container it had emerged from, however I may have taken it home with me and covered it in a cabinet. What I can be sure of is that I don’t have it any longer. What’s more, I wish I did.

Together yet never permitted to wed

My dad died barely 10 years prior, following a time of catastrophe and disease, a lethargic and calm blur from the world. I uncovered a great deal of old photos to show him over the most recent couple of long stretches of his life to attempt to energize him from his mental state.

Generally, he just gazed dull. Incidentally, he would connect or his face would indicate a grin, similar to when I held up a photo of a youthful warrior with whom he had served in World War II.

John Strauss in New York City with children Andy (left) and Larry.

Generally, the photos energized me. Like the image of him gladly holding my sibling and me in his arms. The one that shows us cutting pumpkins. Also, him remaining in line outside New York’s Madison Square Garden for quite a long time to get season finisher Knicks tickets in the nose-drain area for himself and me. In reality, that last picture is only one from my psyche, alongside a great many different recollections and pictures of him.



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